I never take naps so I simply rested for an hour or so. Then, I pushed myself to go to dinner (I have to force myself to do many things nowdays but I always do and I discovered that it’s a good idea because I achieve many things anyway!). I survived the four days and I don’t have a bad memory of them at all. After a good night of sleep, the pain lessened and I was able to enjoy the rest of the days a little more.
The eletrical shock subsided and the only time when they were coming back was when I was in the sun and it was way too hot for me to be outside. That weekend the temperature reached the 100 degree mark and I know that healthy people were having problems with the heat too!
I was able to walk a bit and to buy the pretty plans that I wanted to buy for my garden. Now I have plants that come from Maine and this makes me very happy!
I love that state very much because of its gorgeous lighthouses, scenery and houses…and the most beautiful gardens that I have ever seen! Maine people are very artistic and creative and they seem to love flowers very much!
After this “interesting” experience that proved me once again that I am very strong and that I can deal with pain quite well, I went to the cranial doctor who found me in very good shape and told me that he was quite surprised of my reaction while I was away.
Dr. Burns is trying to do something that most doctors never try to do…he wants to heal me from the inside out and this is something extremely hard to do when you have so much to heal!
I can assure you that it’s extremely hard because I know that it will take a long time to “fix” all the physical problems that I lived with and hid in my body over the years. Many times I feel that I was born malformed because I see a disconnection between many parts of my body like my ankles and my knees, the right side of my body and the left one. I am not emberassed to say this out loud that I am pretty much malformed!
I know that I haven’t done anything wrong to cause this to myself and when I start thinking about the emotional journey of my life, it all makes sense…(I am not ready to talk about this yet so, for now, this might not much sense to you but someday it will).
I can only say that I have THE BEST conversations with Dr. Burns because I can be philosophical, I can speak my mind, I can ask him questions and always receive an answer that makes complete sense to me. I don’t get the usual “I am not sure…we don’t know yet…we still have to find out…” that other types of doctors say to me.
I thank God every day for adding this man to my life because I needed someone that could support me in a time when I am “forced” to take a drug that I don’t want to have in my body.
I welcome it because I have to and I don’t think about it except for 2 to 3 times a month when I have to retake it and when I hear about new cases of PML but I will never lie and say that I am happy to have such a foreign substance in my body!
This month I have noticed that I lose and gained weight like there is no tomorrow! There are days when I am super hungry and then days when I can eat few things and be ok.
I go from gaining and losing 5 to 10 pounds in a matter of days and I still don’t know how this can be possible!
I know that my intestinal track receives wrong messages and stimulations because in the past I would be very hungry when I was constipated and I knew that I was too full to eat and I wouldn’t want to eat a lot when I would go to the bathroom and have a complete empty stomach…The body is really an amazing machine and definitely quite mysterious!
Oh, I forgot to say that my feet started hurting, especially the right one. I know that my right leg is not in tune with the left one and I know that Dr. Burns is trying to “fix” it, but again, I know that there is too much work to do and that can be tricky to fix a woman that wasn’t born the way she was “supposed” to! Or maybe was I supposed to be this way? :)